Thursday, February 21, 2013

On Anne Lamott's "Giving" from Bird by Bird


I am not a giver. Lamott speaks of the world as an orphan’s home that she feels compelled to fill with beautiful words and communion. I see myself as a soapbox preacher perched on a street corner, belaboring commuters as they rush home, pleading for a moment. Maybe hurling some wafers and wine as they pass by. Or I see myself as a gypsy nomad, wandering up and down the city streets with a dozen suitcases on a string, like my donkey caravan. I drag them along the sidewalks and beg passersby to take one home with them, carry one of my burdens.
I am callous to the cry of my reader’s heart, bringing only pain and no redemption. How can I bring peace to my reader’s heart and wake her from her trance when I can’t quiet my own heart? Can’t wake up and walk into the light? I don’t know how to tie things up. I can hand you a mess, but the brown parcel paper and string to bundle it up neatly? I don’t own it. Is a gift still a gift without the wrapping paper, without the trappings?
Lamott’s sermon on giving reminds me of the children’s book The Giver in which Jonas receives and bears the weight of all the community’s forgotten memories—memories of snow, colour, sun, war, family, love. For each burden he must bear, he discovers a new joy as well. That’s the pattern: pain turns to joy, suffering refined into peace, weakness becoming strength. That’s the evolution of any novel, essay, that elusive narrative arc I’m hunting after.
Poems are easier, because you can end with a question. I suppose a question is a gift as much as an assurance, but it’s far less tidy. In memoir and essay, I feel the need to provide an answer, a foundation, a silver lining—anything but unresolved heartache. For what mother would give her daughter a stone when she asks for bread? 

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